What do you think of when you hear the term existence? Your existence? Where and when did it start? You'll probably think: "in my mother's womb?" Well, if you thought so, do you remember any of the moments when you were in your mother's womb? No, you don't.
A consciousness was there when you were in your mother's womb, and that consciousness died and "reincarnated" when you took birth. And after birth, birth of consciousness, whatever you experience can be stressful, traumatic, horrifying, as everything is new, as everything you knew once have been forgotten. It is similar to death of a human when the consciousness has to leave the earthly body, and take some other dimensional form, a new baby consciousness.
A child since birth perceives many things, subtle to strong, from its surrounding, which can be traumatic to its consciousness. A consciousness of a baby that's nothing but like a clay and gets its shape and sturdiness with time and experience, is totally dependent on the people its surrounded by, the environment, the daily routines that the baby has been put through.
The word trauma has a sharp meaning and of course a sharp effect when someone goes through it. But the reason which caused trauma, could be very gruesome...to very subtle to the point others wouldn't signify it as trauma.
Can you recall the memory of a trauma that you believe is your first ever consciously experienced trauma in your childhood? What was that like? And how that has affected you in your adulthood? In these questions exist your inner child, the consciousness that was traumatized and wounded long ago, which you had shoved within layers and layers of adulthood. Little do you know, your inner child's trauma may not be a clear memory in a your consciousness, but a deeply seeded reason in your subconscious, the effect of which is evident in your adulthood: your relationship with yourself, with people, with food, with work, with mental/physical health, with sex, with emotional intimacy etc.
If you're struggling with any of the above mentioned parts of your life, you're encouraged to go within, to remove layers and reach your hand to your inner child. It's time to be a protector and a healer to your own inner child, to your own baby consciousness that's traumatized and wounded.
Go within and recall the first ever memory of your trauma since you have gained consciousness in this life. If you can not recall, or do not want to recall, ask yourself what do you feel and think about when you think of associating the word trauma with your consciousness. Give yourself 20 minutes, cut it down to 15, or even 10, if it gets intense. Do not fear of recalling, do not fear of assessing your thoughts, do not fear of the consecutive thoughts which come after the recalling. Write it all down, share if you want, release whatever comes out of you and that's for now. We'll go slowly and steadily with the inner journey.